Consulting class

If you haven't noticed yet, I have to take three stat courses this semester. The good news is the stats department has a wicked sense of humor...

In consulting class today, the professor handed out a sheet titled "some extremes in client types, their characteristics, and the expected role of the statistical consultant"

Some of my favorites...

Observed client type: dempsey dumpster
Characteristics: wants to dump the whole problem into consultant's lap
Expected consultant: slave

Observed client type: innocent abroad
Characteristics: does not understand t-test but wants factor analysis on 20 cases with 50 variables (hehe)
Expected consultant: magician

Observed client type: tom thumb
Characteristics: everything has gone wrong in experiment but data are still 'valid and valuable'
Expected consultant: incurable optimist

Observed client type: encyclopedia statistician
Characteristics: just wants 5 minutes to answer simple question, can be handled over phone
Expected consultant: gullible george

Observed client type: Dr. Northcote
Characteristics: will take all available - and unavailable - time (*sigh)
Expected consultant: Dr. Parkinson

and my personal favorite...

Observed client type: unhappy wanderer
Characteristics: has vague feeling of needing statistics for valuable data set. wants statistician to define the question as well as the answer and write it up. will consider making statistician fifth author on important paper
Expected consultant: psychiatrist

If you want more, let me know. The whole class had a good laugh today...maybe its just me.